Negativity attracts negativity. Positivity attracts postivity.

“The power of the word is real, whether or not you are conscious of it. Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realise. Behind every word flows energy.”
Sonia Choquette

Our thoughts and beliefs influence every aspect of our lives. Louise Hay is one of many people who promote the use of positive affirmations. An affirmation is anything we say or think. She suggests we have got stuck in the habit of saying negative affirmations to ourselves, and we can effectively re programme our minds to think positively by using positive affirmations. This article explores whether and how they work, and the reasons they may fail.

Bad habits are very hard to break and negative patterns of thinking are habits we have often been built up over a life time. Many of the beliefs we develop over time, may have actually have been passed onto us by significant adults during our childhood. We build up beliefs by being continually exposed to behaviour, or by being constantly told something. We then use the ways of thinking/behaviours we have learned, to react and respond to everyday events in our lives. Often our learnt thought patterns can be dysfunctional and sabotage our efforts to succeed later on in life. Being told as children that we are not very bright, for example, may lead to not believing we are capable and lead to us not undertaking an academic course, which may further our career.

Positive affirmations can be a powerful tool in challenging fears, and negative patterns of thought. A positive affirmation is essentially a strong statement reassuring us everything is ok despite our minds predicting the worse case scenario. By saying these affirmations we are attempting to change our learnt thought patterns, and replace negativity in our mind with positive thoughts.

There are many reasons why affirmations don’t work for people. Psychologists suggest the first step towards change is awareness that you need to change. The second step is acceptance; i.e. accepting that you do talk to yourself negatively, and the last step is action, and taking steps to make the changes. One reason may be that that people don’t actually want to change, or are not prepared to put the work in that may be needed. We may also be comfortable with the life thinking negatively has created. An example could be if a person has had bad experiences/trauma and they find by continuing in the role of the victim, they are cared for and looked after in their relationships. If they start changing their thought patterns and become more empowered it most certainly will change their relationship dynamics.

You can continue along as you have been, or you can choose and make an effort to think thoughts to make you feel good. By doing this you are effectively saying to your subconscious mind ‘I am taking responsibility, I am aware there is something I can do to change.’ This can be done by starting to pay attention to your thoughts, so you can then eliminate experiences you don’t want in your life.

While the idea of changing your thought processes sounds simple, it is not simple and it is not always easy. Our subconscious mind has been busy throughout out lives developing patterns of thought and behaviour, and is very likely to resist any attempts to change these patterns. While we consciously may recognise that our thought patterns may be sabotaging our success, attempting to change established thought patterns may lead to conflict between the subconscious and the conscious mind. However by not focusing on the difficulties of the task ahead, being patient, taking small steps and not expecting big results right away, and allowing positive affirmations to permeate your consciousness they will eventually become a part of you.

Self help guru; Susan Jeffers author of ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’ believes if you say affirmations enough you will really start to believe them, and this works due to acting ‘as if’ they are true. An affirmation is not just a sentence it represents a new way of life, and as we imagine ourselves as strong and powerful ultimately we will become more empowered. It is suggested we have the power within ourselves, and affirmations are part of a process which helps us recognise and act on this power.

Another reason why some people don’t find affirmations beneficial, is they have trouble believing what they are saying. We often really believe what we saying to ourselves, when we berate ourselves with negative self talk, and this makes these negative affirmations all the more powerful. Believing what you say to yourself is often to key to whether affirmations will work or not. Affirmations are statements set in the present tense. Saying to yourself ‘I am healthy and love and care for my body’ when you are overweight and don’t do any exercise, or ‘I have all the money I need to pay all my bills’ when you are in debt, is likely to register as a lie in your mind and therefore be ineffective.

The key to making affirmations work for you is not to pick affirmations you find completely unbelievable. Saying affirmations such as: ‘I am a loving person and my friends love me’ is more believable and more likely over time to re-programme negative ways of thinking about yourself, and help you feel more happy and confident. Another advantage of saying affirmations is that you don’t need to find extra time in a possibly already busy schedule to say them. Affirmations can be said while you are doing other things such as; the washing up, driving your car, or walking.

However it is important to keep saying them, as a lack of consistency is another reason why positive affirmations may not have the desired effect. An example of being inconsistent is if you say a certain affirmation to yourself for ten minutes every day while you are doing the washing up, and then spend the rest of the day saying to yourself ‘I am useless at this job’ ‘They won’t like me anyway’ ‘I am so stupid’ etc Well these are affirmations too, and as this negative self talk is so engrained, and often said with much feeling, it is likely to win over the positive self talk.

If you are consistent, you can use affirmations to chip away at negative thought patterns. By repeating the affirmations again and again throughout the day, you may find they start automatically popping into your mind, and eventually you start developing a new habit of thinking positively. Writing your affirmations on post it notes and sticking them around your house, so that you will notice them throughout the day, is one way to remind yourself to say them regularly. The more you choose to think thoughts to make you feel good, the quicker the affirmations will begin to work.

Louise Hay also makes a connection between dis-ease, ill health, and negative thinking. However claims that specific illnesses and diseases such as cancer, are caused by negativity and that you can cure yourself with positive thinking, may be why positive affirmations have had a bit of a bad press, and why they are often considered kooky or weird. However having said that there have been studies that suggest that a positive mental attitude, can boost our immune system and enable us to resist and fight illness more effectively.

What is clear is that that they way we think does affect our lives. A positive frame of mind does help us cope more effectively with the every day stresses and strains of life. Every thought we have counts, and starting now we can choose to not waste our thoughts.

You can make up your own affirmations. However you may find it easier to use affirmations other people have written until you got into the habit of doing them a bit more. There are many books and CDs available which you may find useful, or you can find many affirmations on the internet. I would recommend looking at these websites:

www.vitalaffirmations.com
www.susanjeffers.com
www.aplacefortheheart.co.uk

Here are a few to get you started:

I am willing to release negative thoughts. My new thoughts are positive and fulfilling.

My views and opinions are important and I choose to be heard.

Life is simple. What I give out comes back to me. Today I choose to give love.

I forgive myself for not being perfect, and love myself exactly as I am. Every mistake I make is yet another opportunity to learn.

As I think positive and beautiful thoughts, I attract positivity and beauty into my life.

The past is my history, the future is my unknown. I choose to live in the present.

Today, no person, place or thing can irritate me. I choose to be at peace.

I choose to feel good about myself. I am worthy of my own love.

I am in the process of positive change. I now express health, happiness and piece of mind.

I remember the past, learn from it, then release it. I love who I am.

I am unlimited in my own ability to create the good in my life.

My home is filled with joy, love, laughter, and understanding.

The only life I have control over is mine and only I control my life.

This is my time to be free to be me, and have the good things in life because I am worth it.

I choose to release myself from fears and doubt. I accept myself and create peace in my mind and heart. I am loved and I am safe.